What's ahead

I feel like I have so much to document, and I get frustrated when I don't get to document as much as I'd like to. However, I've come to accept that I do have to live my life, and settle for simply the memories of some things. 

I haven't said much about the Holidays, so here we go! To be completely honest, Christmas was bittersweet this year. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and we all enjoyed the time we spent together! It was also Cassidy's first Christmas so that was fun! But every single tradition, every single meal, was empty without Taylor being with us. All we could think about was what he was doing, if he was upset, or how much we missed his presence. He said that they mostly gave them the day off, and they had a lot of free time, but he was so homesick. And it makes us sick. He doesn't belong at Boot Camp on Christmas. He belongs on the couch with me opening up our stockings, or in our pictures, or at our table. So this year was harder than most, but I am so thankful for it because it opened up my eyes to how important people are to me.

This year, it is so important for me to keep my relationship with God a priority. Through my prayers, I've discovered that when I get stressed, of course I tend to put my faith on hold for whenever I can "get to it." And I make myself insane trying to keep up with all of my relationships. Mom, dad, Rachel, Cassidy, Hunter, Lynnlee, Maggie. The list goes on and on. And each person becomes frustrated when I leave them out for too long, and I understand that completely. Since I'm so worried about my earthly relationships, my heavenly relationship gets put off to the side, except that's the one relationship that would make everything else fall into place. I don't know if that made sense to you, but it really really does to me. SO. This year is dedicated to having my priorities straight. Period. I need to lean on God when I'm scared, excited, nervous, or worried. And I know I'll be full of all of those things this semester.

I'm so scared for this semester. So scared that it makes me tear up just thinking about it. There are roles to be cast, show choir shows to be competed, and, dare I say it... New York. So, here's to a great start to a wonderful year. I hope it holds amazing things.

snow day photoshoots

Well, winter is here, and has caused school to be closed for 3 days so far! Not to worry, we've taken plenty of pictures to keep ourselves busy. I love a good snow day, but now it's kind of messing up things that we had planned in Choir and Drama, so we need to get this ice melted and out of the way! The dogs aren't too fond of the snow, but they're getting by. The picture of all three of them in front of the fireplace took some serious effort. Treats and stern voices were used. We've also gotten to get some quality time with sweet Cass, and she's ready for Christmas! Isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever saw?! Maybe I'm biased. :)

A post without a picture

People tend to scroll past posts without any pictures to look at. And honestly, I don't blame them. They look daunting, paragraphs and paragraphs ahead of you. I don't expect you to spend the time reading this anyway, but if you do then you'll get a pretty darn good look into this noggin of mine. Here goes.

...

Recently, since the show has ended, I've become... unhappy with myself. I suddenly saw this person that I had become due to stress and lack of sleep. I didn't like the person at all, this impatient, crabby, and drab human being that just goes through the motions. And I became overwhelmed with how much I needed to improve and what needed to be fixed, so I didn't fix anything at all. I was scared. Without Sabrina Fair, I lacked an excuse for my behavior, and really, Sabrina Fair shouldn't have been an excuse to begin with. I knew that staying strong in my relationship with God would be very hard this year, just as it was hard to be strong in all of my relationships during the run of the show. The show becomes your only relationship, it seems... this demanding, bratty and intolerable boyfriend. I hated it. I wanted the relationship with my real boyfriend, who's patient, loving, and accepting of me. Now I have him, and he knows what happened to me and how sorry I am for that. Thank goodness he's so forgiving and patient with me, I simply don't deserve him.

...

Taylor left for boot camp. He's been gone for a week now. Before he left, I had kind of ignored the fact that he was leaving because I knew it would make me upset and I couldn't risk more upset during the performance nights (he conveniently left in the middle of performance week) of Sabrina Fair. The day he left, I hadn't cried all day. But I did cry when he hugged me and walked to the car. On the way home, I had gathered myself and I told myself that I was done being sad because this was what Taylor wanted. I pulled up to my house, and I saw Taylor's car parked at the curb. It was then that I lost it. All the built up sadness, the stress, the exhaustion, it was all let go because I knew that I wouldn't have Taylor to fight with about where to park my car in our cul-de-sac. Never did I once think I should appreciate that, but I took it for granted, just like we do with all of the other silly things in our lives. And so we carry on, and my mom listens to his voicemail multiple times everyday, and watches gobs of documentaries on the marines. I started his letter, and my goal for all of my letters is for them to be without sadness. I want him to feel updated and included with the happenings of our family. I want him to laugh. I want him to know the scores on the OU games. And I want him to have pictures. Doesn't he have enough sadness and loneliness?

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Ending with the one thing that I am thrilled about: Rachel, Nick and Cassidy being here. I have never been so thankful to have my sister with me again, and even better, Nick and my niece! I've gotten to spend so much time with them and I will never take that for granted again. So I thank God for bringing them here, and just how all of that worked out.

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Aunts and Nieces

I know that I've been a stranger this summer. but I do have my reasons! I've been in Pennsylvania with my sister helping take care of my brand spankin' new niece. I'm an Aunt. What a fulfilling title. It's crazy how everything worked out. Cassidy was born 3 days after we arrived in PA, so we got to spend lots and lots of time with her! I may be a little bit biased, but I have a pretty darn cute niece.

And I am the proud photographer of this super sweet client!! I couldn't be happier to have Cassidy as a part of our family. I'm already so in love with her, and I miss her so much!

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom can be no variation, neither shadow that is cast by turning."

James 1:17 (ASV)

A pretty cute baby shower I'd say

 I had so much fun with Rachel in town this week! I missed her so much. I loved getting to feel Cassidy kick and move around in there. It's the coolest thing ever. These are just some snapshots of the shower (that I planned!!) we had for her on Saturday. I was very pleased with how it turned out and I had a great time. I can't wait to meet Cassidy in July, I'm getting impatient!

Adjusting

There are some adjustments having to be made at our house. You guys know my brother Taylor, right?

Taylor and my sister, Rachel

And Taylor's very best friend and basically my other brother, Connor?

Well, both of them are certified EMT's! They have hopes of getting on the fire department here in Broken Arrow, so in order to increase those chances, they're getting their paramedic certifications in the next year. Currently they live in an apartment together, but now they're moving back in with us! With them doing this, they'll be able to continue working and saving money to pay for school instead of having to pay rent and what not. So what does this mean for me?

My upstairs domain is no longer just mine. I must share it. Which, frankly, will probably be a little bit difficult for me to get used to again. I know I will adjust, there used to be 3 of us living up there. I've just gotten used to it only being me, and that was nice. There was no one else to clean up after, no one else to worry about. So anyway, pray for my well being. And patience. And kindness. And self control. And all of the fruits of the spirit. Yeah that about covers it.

All of the happenings

Some people are really good at documenting holidays. I am not one of those people. I find it so difficult to find the time (and discipline) to blog during the Christmas/New Year season. Maybe it's because so much happens during this time so I get really overwhelmed at how much I need to blog. (probably the main reason) Or it could be that I simply can't bring myself to get off my lazy bum and do something. I really am embarrassed at my lack of activity these past few weeks. Ashamed, really. I'm almost relieved to get back to school because I know that it is better for my well being. But anyway, we had a lovely holiday season here at the York house! Here are anew photos from here and there. I loved getting to spend some quality time with my family, and I'm so thankful for them. And now... Spring semester begins. Wish me luck.

Love and Wisdom

 

 This is my mamaw and papaw. I look at them, and I can't help but smile because of how much I truly do love them. I just got back from visiting my mamaw, and I just had to come and write this post. After school today I decided it was a perfect afternoon to go to my mamaw's house. I see her every Sunday at church, but I never just go over there, just to visit. Life tends to get the best of me and everything becomes a whirlwind and I forget to take time to do these kinds of things. So I went, and we talked and talked about everything under the sun.  We started talking about how she and my papaw got married and just marriage in general. One thing that she said stood out to me and I couldn't help but share it. 

"There's nothing greater than the satisfaction of just having each other."

My grandpa has inherited emphysema. They are both so strong, my papaw enduring the disease every day of his life and my mamaw supporting him the whole way through. They still love each other so much. I pray to God that I have a marriage like theirs, one that continues to grow every day. I pray that I have strength and optimism like my papaw's, and never ceasing love like my mamaw's. They truly are my inspiration, they make me strive to be a better person. I just love them so much.

Tubing and Things

We sure have been spending lots of weekends at the lake! Rachel and her boyfriend Nick came into town from Michigan, and since Nick is from Pittsburgh, we just had to make sure he got a good fill of how you spend your weekends down here in Oklahoma. It was a blast! My brother and I went at the same time, which was really fun! However it was very difficult with our tube being a one person tube and all... :) Taylor was really good at it though! However, our adventures involving lakes and boats are not over yet, we've got plans to go to Grand Lake this weekend and guess who gets to join us?! Hunter. (my boyfriend who always seems to be at least 7 hours away from me) So yay! 

16th Birthday Extravaganza!

I'm 16. It still kind of baffles me. I remember planning out my 16th birthday when I was 9 years old, thinking "Only 7 more years to go!" Obviously those plans were not executed, I had very different ideas in mind! Do you remember having that special birthday feeling? Like when you were younger and it just felt so different when it was your birthday, as if the whole world was focused on you and your big day! I was talking to my grandma about that, and how I don't feel that anymore. She said I probably never will again, that happens when you grow up. Do you know how upsetting that is?! It just bothers me. I mean don't get me wrong, I had a wonderful birthday! It just felt like every other day. Which means I'm getting older. 

For my birthday plans, we decided to rent a boat and a cabin and hang out on the lake all day! It was SO much fun! Lynnlee and Madison came with my family and me, so it was impossible not to have fun! 

Here I am, being 16 and stuff.

We were finding sticks for roasting marshmallows, so that's why I was holding a stick, haha. Please enjoy the moments we captured by the lake. (:

Catching crawdads!

Everybody exploring.

and with that we were off to the lake.

It's Saturday. My parents and I are simply sitting around the house, doing nothing. So we decide, "Hey, let's go to the lake." I mean why not? So we did. We just went to lake Ft. Gibson, skipped some rocks, soaked up some sun, and put our feet in the cool water. I must say it was a fun little adventure! I love spending time with my parents, and I'm glad we went. Of course, I took advantage of the scenery and snapped a good amount of photos, so please enjoy! This isn't all of them by any means, so I'm sparing you the scrolling by gleaning through the pictures and picking my favorites. (: