What's ahead

I feel like I have so much to document, and I get frustrated when I don't get to document as much as I'd like to. However, I've come to accept that I do have to live my life, and settle for simply the memories of some things. 

I haven't said much about the Holidays, so here we go! To be completely honest, Christmas was bittersweet this year. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and we all enjoyed the time we spent together! It was also Cassidy's first Christmas so that was fun! But every single tradition, every single meal, was empty without Taylor being with us. All we could think about was what he was doing, if he was upset, or how much we missed his presence. He said that they mostly gave them the day off, and they had a lot of free time, but he was so homesick. And it makes us sick. He doesn't belong at Boot Camp on Christmas. He belongs on the couch with me opening up our stockings, or in our pictures, or at our table. So this year was harder than most, but I am so thankful for it because it opened up my eyes to how important people are to me.

This year, it is so important for me to keep my relationship with God a priority. Through my prayers, I've discovered that when I get stressed, of course I tend to put my faith on hold for whenever I can "get to it." And I make myself insane trying to keep up with all of my relationships. Mom, dad, Rachel, Cassidy, Hunter, Lynnlee, Maggie. The list goes on and on. And each person becomes frustrated when I leave them out for too long, and I understand that completely. Since I'm so worried about my earthly relationships, my heavenly relationship gets put off to the side, except that's the one relationship that would make everything else fall into place. I don't know if that made sense to you, but it really really does to me. SO. This year is dedicated to having my priorities straight. Period. I need to lean on God when I'm scared, excited, nervous, or worried. And I know I'll be full of all of those things this semester.

I'm so scared for this semester. So scared that it makes me tear up just thinking about it. There are roles to be cast, show choir shows to be competed, and, dare I say it... New York. So, here's to a great start to a wonderful year. I hope it holds amazing things.

A post without a picture: "On Making Decisions"

Hunter and I have really felt the pressure of... life, recently. We're feeling that classic worry-your-brains-out-during-your-Senior-Year feeling, or at least I am, maybe not him. This post may or may not turn into a rant. Read at your own risk. 

I'm so so so tired of the question, "So what are you planning on doing after you graduate?" Or for Hunter, "What is Hunter doing now?" I know that people are just innocently curious, but sometimes I just want to scream back "WE DON'T KNOW YET OKAY?!" And I always feel so shameful when I do say that. Normally, not screaming. Gosh I cannot even express my frustration for this topic. Picking your career/major is a hayooge (in case you don't know what that word was it was a dramatic spelling for "huge") decision. Adults give you a hard time when you're not sure, but they also give you a hard time when you change your mind! I'm sorry but I'm going to change my mind. I already have about 1,000 times since I was 5. This is my life here, and I want to make sure it's right! Maybe I've researched something more in depth and come across a part of the career that I don't think I'd like. Maybe I don't like the salary. The hours. The work environment. There are countless reasons why I change my mind. And let me get this out of the way really quickly...

I don't want to go to a university. And I don't feel sorry about that. It is simply not for me, and there are other people that it isn't right for too. That doesn't mean I don't want to go to college, I just don't want to waste money going to a University that I will hate. I don't want to be paying college loans until the day I die, I do not want to dorm, and I don't want to get a useless degree. I want to stay home, live with my parents, and go to Tulsa Community College for free for 2 years and then decide what to major in from there. So,  shoot me for being practical. I'm not saying that people who do go to Universities are stupid, but I am saying that it would be stupid if I went, because it is not what I want. 

I just wish that people wouldn't... expect so much. I am a kid. I know that you have to grow up once you graduate, but I'm smart enough to stay here and not blow my money at a University. So please, respect the decisions that people make. And don't act surprised when those decisions change, because more than likely, they will. Especially mine. 

Pray for us as Hunter and I search for what we need to do with our lives. I pray that it is something that pleases God and just feels right.

Halfway through my last year of highschool with these people I love

I know that I shouldn't be thinking that way, but it's kind of hard not to. This semester has just flown by, and I didn't think it would. I knew this year would be so busy and so tiring that I thought it would never end. And to be completely honest it's not even close to ending, even though it's halfway through. Next semester has the musical, show choir competition season, Taylor's graduation (!!!),  Carnegie Hall, and graduation. Pray for me. 

Despite how crazy it's been, I could not have had better friends to stick it out with. Just looking at that bottom picture makes me tear up. PS that's a picture of Choir Leadership. I've had so many wonderful memories with each and every one of them, and I love them all to pieces. Our Christmas party couldn't have gone any better! Merry Christmas from BAHS Choir!

snow day photoshoots

Well, winter is here, and has caused school to be closed for 3 days so far! Not to worry, we've taken plenty of pictures to keep ourselves busy. I love a good snow day, but now it's kind of messing up things that we had planned in Choir and Drama, so we need to get this ice melted and out of the way! The dogs aren't too fond of the snow, but they're getting by. The picture of all three of them in front of the fireplace took some serious effort. Treats and stern voices were used. We've also gotten to get some quality time with sweet Cass, and she's ready for Christmas! Isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever saw?! Maybe I'm biased. :)